G-Day! My English thoughts

New Section!!!

G-Day!  is a space where on a daily basis -it's not easy, I know, but at least I can promise trying it hard- I'll write a few lines about my English thoughts -if it can be said that I have such-. I'll try to respect the mother tongue that gave birth to Peanut Butter and Hot Dogs, providing you with a selection of absurd English thoughts of mine, not trascendental for the evolution of the human race, but those that play an important role in my non-gray matter, which happens to be responsible for the creation of my blog - "Oyster!-lia".

So, this is how "the first day of the rest of my life" begins...



MONDAY, 21 MARCH 2011
At 7.43 pm...

"Still Monday? Jesus, God! You could have created Sundays for working and the rest of the week for chilling out!"


FRIDAY, 11 MARCH 2011
At 7.43 pm...flexing my muscles at a Yoga class

"What the hell are you Flexibility? Either way, wherever is the place He/She is at, it must have a very inflexible working hours, because He/She has never come back to explain how this place was"


THURSDAY, 10 MARCH 2011
At 4.27 pm...you're such a piece of crêpe!!!

"I’m really, absolutely, super annoyed with this piece of crêpe, with two balls of vanilla ice-cream, which is cheekily starring at me as I’m writing down these lines. Oh wait!, listen… did you hear that?…What the hell!… too big for me? seriously? Oh boy, you need a bit of discipline you pipsqueak. I’ll put you in the right place! And don’t you even dare approaching my precious saddlebags."


WEDNESDAY, 9 MARCH 2011
At 8.34 am... while looking at myself in the mirror

"Getting older has its but(t)s. Why if your ass has again that same orange peel syndrome as when you were a baby, you cannot cry desperately on the early mornings in the middle of the street when on your way to work, and not seem an immature person for this natural reaction?"



TUESDAY, 8 MARCH 2011
At 9.34 pm... after being offered my very first Aussie movie Production Assistant's role

"There is only one thing scarier than being a mere spectator of others’ life during your entire existence: being the main character in those brief seconds in which you take the crucial decisions."



MONDAY, 7 MARCH 2011
At 7.50 pm... while doing my very first dehidrating  Zumba class

"Live is too short, they say. But in my case, it costed me almost 30 loooooong years of my youth to realise it."



FRIDAY, 4 MARCH 2011
At  10.00 am... while chilling at the pool despite the need of doing tones of housework

"Today I have realised how great it is to have a religious belief. When things go wrong you don't need to blame yourself, you can always blame God."



THURSDAY, 3 MARCH 2011
At 7.30 pm... definately, just heat is in the air

From: 0490909030 (Me)
To: God
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Hi God! If you're up there, please turn off the bloddy oven, mate! And don't forget to turn on the Aircon before leaving, it would be a "God point. Thanks".
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sending message to God...
...
...
Delivery Failed! The number you are trying to call is not available at the moment


Damn it! This God is always untraceable, even when you need him.


WEDNESDAY, 2 MARCH 2011
What came to my mind at 7.30 am...

"I used to have a friend. I used to call her a friend, despite that she has never invited me to her place to have a dinner, lunch or even coffee, even though I let her cry at my place, eat my dinner, my lunch and drink my coffee. It's that  I really wanted to have a friend. 

But after a few, disappointment took place. After a few more, I realised that my friend became the enemy that I'd always wanted, and I had never had before".


TUESDAY, 1 MARCH 2011
At 8.15 am... drinking my Nespresso (George Clooney not included)

"There are 2 kinds of people on this planet:
Those, the most common people, who just by taking a deep breath put on 4kg of additional weight, and those, who after having eaten a breakfast made of a toast with  4 tons of butter + 2 strawberry jam pots + 3 dozens of fried eggs + 2 fat cows dancing on top, ask for saccharine to put into their coffee, and unfortunately, they don’t gain any damn weight".


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